I usually like to add a short disclaimer to all my potentially offensive rants statements because I am allergic to confrontation and don’t like to upset anyone. *However* over the past 2 years – I have been beaten up, had all my eyelashes removed, dragged through the mud, and someone stole all my money, AND I developed an allergy to gluten. Ok not really. I’m nothing if not dramatic at times. But it really does feel like all of the above has happened to my insides. Everything except for the gluten thing…. that’s just my poor follow through on dieting.
I guess what I am trying to say is that the last few years of being put through a lot of “less than ideal” situations, has really opened my eyes to the fact that it is
I guess that eventually everyone comes to a point in their lives when you have to take a stand for what you believe in, even if it upsets the people around you.
Life, if you think about it, is really just a series of tests that we are all put through in order for the good Lord to teach us something. If we are really smart – we just might actually figure out what that is! Most of us, however, have to repeatedly be given the same test over and over. And over. (And over). until we learn what it is we are supposed to learn.
Although I absolutely, sincerely and ardently adore children, sports, and children involved in sports… I feel that youth sports organizations can absolutely bring out the worst in people. And by people I mean parents. I am going to just throw it out there that this doesn't only apply to football. I’m much too sport savvy for that kind of one-sidedness. I’m throwing it all under the bus…football, baseball, basketball, wrestling, cheer, drill team, coloring, painting with a twist…people be crazy!
*New Parents- I’m sorry to break it to you this way – but you were supposed to have enrolled your babies in some type of sports development program AT LEAST by the time you were 6 months pregnant…..because the time for your child to learn a sport is NOT when they are out of the womb and on a team for the first time…they should have already mastered that shit before you meet them.
Now don’t get me wrong…. I have had many pleasant experiences both with volunteering & coaching cheer through both with the CFSA with my oldest daughter, while my husband coached Ryan’s football teams & even a baseball team, and now.
That being said, I will honestly say that the past few years have literally made me rethink whether or not I will ever be signing myself up to volunteer…. like, EVER again. I’ve had to ask myself why this is several times. Am I being too sensitive and taking things too personally? Surely these parents realize that we both have a full time job, a household to run, and 3 kids with ungodly amounts of homework, right? OH and that we are FREELY GIVING them our time for the same cost as they incur for the same activity ….at the expense of our own family….and that we are not in the professional coaching or volunteering business. They know this, right?
Well. Maybe they don’t.
Maybe they don’t realize that we wake up at 5:00 AM, get ready for work, deal with the REAL WORLD and our bosses, colleagues & things that actually pay the bills, then sit in the same rush hour traffic after an exhausting day when we just want to go home to our families and chillax…denied….we (okay Jason) get our butts ready to immediately head out the door to the practice fields …..without even seeing their spouse who hasn’t gotten home yet (not bitter), having to say to their own child – “No I can’t help you with your homework because I have to coach”, and then gets home around 8:45 / 8:30 PM on a good day….after practice ended an HOUR before – because he – I mean WE – stay behind to talk to parents about whatever it is that they are upset about … sorry to sound so one-dimensional – but this is the brutal truth…..and then when he (WE) do get home – eating dinner that is cold because dinner time was at 7:30…then going upstairs to kiss his baby girls (what? He has other kids?) who are ALREADY asleep because he misses them and didn’t get to see them at all today – and then does he get to spend time with the wife? NO – he is on the phone with coaches, more angry parents and goes to bed at like midnight because he is on the phone with the other coaches trying to address all the issues that arose during practice, who was pissed, what can we tweak…blah blah blah. I kept saying ‘WE’ earlier because when my husband is with all of your children, I am having to figure out a way to help both of my girls with their homework, get them to their activities & cook, laundry, clean, oh and I also VOLUNTEER, all by myself. I went ahead and dropped the WE part at the point Jason got home because at this point – I’m annoyed that I can’t talk to him about anything non-football related because he is on the phone with everyone else and giving his time to pretty much everyone OTHER THAN HIS FAMILY. Oh. And don’t EVEN get me started on non-practice days!!! While you are all sitting by the fire, sippin' on your lattes and enjoying your day off practice…..these coaches are STILL going at it with game plans, meetings, making signs, laminating play cards, researching plays, etc. and did I mention that he is still on the phone with angry parents and coaches ALL the time? All for a measly $0.00 in cold hard cash.
So. Am I acting like a baby when I see & hear terrible things being said about him (and all these poor dads) who are investing so much of themselves to your kids?
Maybe. But I deserve to feel sorry for myself…I mean seriously! Bless my freaking heart!
I don’t even really like to go to practice and enjoy watching my own child play because of all the parents huddled up together in corners with their pitch forks & opinions, whispering, working each other up, and making it an extremely uncomfortable place to be…. and if it's not like that then PLEASE consider how it appears when you are all congregated in groups away from everyone else. Oh and GOD forbid my child make a mistake – I mean - it's all OMG – DADDY BALL! Did you see that mistake – oh that’s some Daddy ball right there!! (Insert angry mob and phone calls here). Oh and just a piece of advice from someone who gets to witness what happens…..rather than spending time fixing the plays, watching game tapes & switching up where kids are put for the next game….those precious few minutes that are left in their day that would be going to your children are instead spent on the phone making sure the parents are ok – therefore preventing he and the other coaches from doing what they need to be doing to get ready for the next game. The problem with the cycle (in every detail) that I listed above, is that it does NOT stop.
I hate to break it to you – but this is LITTLE LEAGUE FOOTBALL. All of our kids might have special individual talents, & of course we all want to see our kids shine….but this is football…..football is a TEAM sport….if they don’t work together as ONE unit on that field….they will NOT succeed. Period. Everyone has to work together in the role that they are given…even if we don’t like it – because it benefits the TEAM. Our job as a parent, is to teach our child that there is no spot on that team that is NOT important! Even if they aren’t in the game – motivate your FAMILY from the sideline!!! Watch your spot and see if you can prepare yourself for when it's your turn out there - but in the mean time.....that is your family out there!! It’s not all about you! This is when it's time for them to learn how to be a team mate, a friend and a man! Unless you are whiny, selfish and want the world handed to you, then quit feeling sorry for yourselves!
Believe it or not – those other teams would LOVE to disqualify our team for violating the minimum play rule and walking away with the win….do you really think that the coaches would do that? Oh and if you are still convinced that this is all DADDY BALL ….. then let me put the above sentence in a way that you might understand……do you HONESTLY think that the coaches are going to sabotage the chance to play their sons and forfeit the game by violating this rule?
For all of you who don’t like the spot your kid is playing on the team…..if your child hears the people he trusts most in the world - his parents - giving negative feedback about that spot and bashing the coaches…do you really think that he is going to go out there on the field with his mind and heart in the right place to put his body in the line of fire, risk getting hurt and do his best in that position on the field?? Does your negativity empower your child on that field? Learning different positions on the team does NOTHING BUT IMPROVE YOUR CHILDS DIVERSITY! Do you really think you will be able to tell the football coaches in middle and high school where your kid is going to play? Do you believe that for one second that there is a “minimum play” rule in public school or IN THE NFL?
Have you all completely lost your minds?
How about instead of looking for things to be upset about – try looking at things from a different angle…..has your child learned the fundamentals from the game? Has he gotten better than the first day he stepped out on that field?
OR if you are still upset about how things are run on your team or in the organization….how about seeing if you can help by asking yourselves the following questions:
Am I doing anything to help the coaches?
Can I help in any other way besides sideline coaching?
You to the Coach: “I have some great ideas that I think will benefit the team!” (Be sure to make sure that you are not only thinking of plays that involve your son or where you think he should play or you will be a daddy baller and ain’t nobody got time for dat)
Am I properly motivating my son to feel pride for his team and play to his full potential EACH AND EVERY time he practices and plays games?
Have I ever said THANK YOU to any of these people who do NOT have to do this, but WANT to. For Free.
Would I be willing to shut my mouth and get out there and do what these men have done if all of our negativity runs them off and then show each and every child the same amount attention, love and respect (and playing time) that you feel you child deserves while having your “friends” turn on you and talk down to you because you are not doing it well enough?
What are the chances that my kid will end up as a NFL player. I mean, really? If the chances are good....am I being a good example and instilling a general respect for coaching authority in my child? Remember .... talent will only get you so far with the big leagues.....the rest is ATTITUDE baby.
Anyway. Maybe I’m a baby. Maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe you agree with everything I said. Maybe you agree with nothing I said or maybe you just don’t want to listen. But this is my blog so my opinion is the only one that counts so why ya reading it still!?:)
Ok so I really don't want to upset anyone and am still struggling with my new bad ass lifestyle...so be patient with me. Here is the disclaimer that would normally go on top....but now it's on the bottom.....cause it's on its way out!. LOL. who am I kidding. Anyway - it is never my intent for anyone to ever leave my presence (even if it's just my words) feeling anything but happy and freshly inspired to adopt a kitten. I'm a just a wife, mother and friend who is tired of people being mad all the time. Can't we all just get along!!? Or at least be a part of the solution and NOT the problem?? Now don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade my chaotic little world for anything....watching Jason be so involved in Ryan's life is fabulous and gives me unimaginable joy....until I see my people being hurt - then I start to write really long blogs.
