So there I was...minding my own business...trying to get in some critical online shopping while I was
Do I want the L or XL shirt?
Will the L allow room for my boobs?
Will this flannel flowy look pair well with my skinny jeans & boots?
Will it make me look fat?
Are there any coupons?
Will the shirt arrive in time for my 2 week Texas winter?
Am I seriously the only person who cries at the end of Mary Poppins?
This was seriously deep stuff, guys.
That's when it happened. A simple 'thinking man' stance led to my discovery of an abnormally long, coarse chin hair!
"Well what is this?" I said to myself as I gently stroked my long, wavy new lock of hair.
That's when I remembered....."Wait, I'm NOT a dude!!"
My heart was racing and I began to perspire as a multitude of questions flooded my brain.
Where did this lil guy come from?
How long had he been there?
How did the rest my baby blonde feminine chin hairs feel about this vulgar hair-erection?
Should I use conditioner on it?
'NO. NO!', I thought. 'I must fight the good fight! I will not go gentle into that good night...old age shall burn and rave at close of day but I must rage, rage against the dying of ... my femininity?' Ok so even I don't know where I was going with that one y'all. Just let it pass.
So clearly I had to find my tweezers ASAP.
My plan was to pluck away the hair in hopes of restoring the small shred of dignity I had left.
There would be no five o'clock shadows on my watch!
I began looking in my office drawers because sometimes when I browse.....eyebrows....
When what, to my wondering eyes should appear? Not one, not 2 but 3 incredibly dull tweezers!
Now if you've never plucked with dull tweezers, then you cannot possibly imagine how frustrating it is to alternate between trying to pluck an embarrassing chin hair, while hiding the fact that you are plucking an embarrassing chin hair as people walk past your office. I needed to remove it swiftly like the ninja on crack drinking a redbull. But that's just not the hand I was dealt. So I tried to pull it myself....and basically freshly shellacked nails = dull tweezers. So I had to walk around the office all day...looking left...looking right....covering my chin with my hand frequently like it was itching, while probably inadvertently drawing more attention to it.
I carried on this way until I could make it home and pluck this hairy scoundrel outta my chin.
I was happy to be back to normal and ready to move on with my life. Until I woke up the next morning with another one! It's like the chin hair had groupies and they were pissed off that I murdered their master.
Clearly this is going to be an uphill battle for the rest of my life. Why? Because getting older sucks! I tell my daughters all the time....enjoy your youth because one day - you might just wake up with a beard.
Well done, again Lassy! Your Mom battles this as well.
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